The Lotus Moon 2023

At the same time, I am trying to avoid minimizing or evading the very real feelings and fears that my health issues evoke. I don’t want to spiritually bypass the emotions or challenges. I’m choosing a quote to consider for the Lotus Moon period:

“The more indispensable you become, the more you are reduced to being a thing, and the more your freedom is lost. …When you are of no use to humanity, you become of tremendous use to existence. Then existence starts flowing through you, then you become a vehicle—because you are so empty it can flow through you.”

~ Osho. Tao: The Pathless Path (p. 134). Kindle Edition.

I can remember how good it felt to be indispensable. To feel as if my contributions to my work were really helpful and appreciated. However, I also recall the other side of this, in the position I held before I was forced to resign due to the health issues. My freedom was lost, as even taking time off seemed to cause massive amounts of anxiety for those I directly worked with. Was I a thing? I don’t believe it was that extreme, as this was a position where I was surrounded by many loving people.

Still, as someone facing questions about whether or not to file for disability status, I clearly acknowledge that some part of my ego feels wounded without a formal ‘career’ to cling to. Even understanding how little such a thing matters (or should matter), I am struck by the strength of that discomfort. But could my use to existence, and my connection to its flow be strong enough to wash that ego away…?

These are just some of my Lotus Moon thoughts.